The Gifts of Accountability
Part 1: A Firm Footing
No one enjoys holding other people accountable. It is uncomfortable, annoying, and frustrating as all hell. Unsurprisingly, many of my clients struggle with this critical part of management because it feels inauthentic and at odds with the compassionate, empathetic style of leadership to which they aspire.
The truth is that when we fail to hold others accountable, (even though we mean well!) we deprive our teams of a safe environment, ensure they cannot succeed, and create a toxic culture.
However, when we confidently and consistently hold our team accountable, we give them 3 gifts which are critical to their growth and success: a Firm Footing, a Clear Path to Success, and a Culture of Accountability.
As a 23-year-old manager in my circus, I found myself supervising folks I had known since childhood. Ensuring I was perceived as an empathetic boss was my biggest priority.
When my employees were late or had to leave early, when their performance was lackluster, even when they were rude to their colleagues, I was completely focused on understanding why they had failed to live up to the most basic requirements of the job. I believed that if I accommodated them and addressed their obstacles then they would appreciate my flexibility and try harder next time.
Spoiler alert: it didn’t work. In fact, it made things worse.
Learning how to effectively hold people accountable was the biggest challenge I had to overcome as a young leader, and when I succeeded the impact was incredible. As a result, it’s become one of my passions as a coach to help my clients develop this skill.
Here are the 3 gifts we give when we hold people accountable:
- Firm Footing. When folks know where they stand and trust your willingness to hold them accountable, they feel secure and are able to trust both you and their colleagues.
- Clear Path to Success. When you are clear about what you want, you give people the opportunity to pursue excellence in a meaningful way.
- Culture of Accountability. When you consistently uphold standards of acceptable behavior, you teach people not just to be accountable for their own actions, but to help each other exceed expectations.
Let’s explore the first gift — the Firm Footing — and two steps you can follow to implement it for yourself:
Step 1: Before you can establish accountability, you must first create the standards to which you will hold people accountable.
It’s important to get this right, because in order to hold people accountable you need credibility which is hard to gain and easy to lose.
Don’t be arbitrary, and don’t bite off more than you can chew! It is far better to start simple and small so you can be consistent. Here are three questions you need to be able to answer with confidence:
- What are the boundaries of acceptable behavior?
- What are the consequences they can expect if they step outside the boundaries?
- What constitutes relationship-ending behavior?
Once you can answer those questions, it’s time for Step 2: the accountability conversation. This is where we soft-hearted, empathetic leaders struggle the most! And of course we do — there is no way to make a conversation about enforcing consequences into a comfortable experience.
Here’s the secret: you need shift your focus away from the perspective of the individual who is struggling to fulfill their obligations.
While you can be understanding and empathetic about the individual circumstances that led to this failure, your responsibility as a leader is to the team. That is your biggest priority, and anyone who fails to fulfill their obligation to the work is hurting the team.
Can you help them overcome the obstacles that led to this infraction? Absolutely. But that doesn’t mean they should escape the consequences of their actions.
Remember, consistency is critical. Communicate the standards and the consequences for failing to meet those standards, and then enforce the consequences every time. By doing so you create a firm footing, proving your trustworthiness as a leader and creating the opportunity for each member of your team to trust each other to live up to those standards.
Click here to read the second gift of accountability: the Clear Path to Success.
